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    Millie and Nick - Peer Session Coaching

    Polyamory
    Peer
    Sessions

    Private coaching and mediation sessions for individuals, couples, and polycules — with Millie, Nick, or both.

    26+
    Countries
    5
    Languages
    620+
    Sessions
    What Sets Us Apart

    WHY CHOOSE US?

    Personalized coaching tailored to your unique relationship journey, designed to help you navigate your individual path with confidence and cultural insight.

    Individualized Attention

    Explore your polyamorous identity and relationships with personalized, one-on-one guidance tailored to your unique journey.

    Expert Guidance

    Rooted in decades of personal and cultural experience navigating non-monogamy, identity, and the dynamics of love.

    Multilingual Support

    Sessions available in Dutch, English, French, Swahili, and Spanish — connecting with you in the language you're most comfortable in.

    Your Transformation

    WHAT YOU'LL WALK AWAY WITH

    Personal Growth

    Deep, introspective conversations that help you understand your own desires and boundaries.

    Self-Discovery

    Uncover aspects of your identity and relationship preferences you may not have explored.

    Communication Mastery

    Effective strategies tailored to polyamorous dynamics — express your needs with empathy and clarity.

    Conflict Resolution

    Tools to navigate conflicts, turning challenges into opportunities for strengthening bonds.

    Emotional Resilience

    Skills to manage jealousy and insecurity, fostering a supportive and secure relationship environment.

    Community Connection

    Tap into the collective wisdom of non-monogamous communities and find your place.

    Relationship Design

    Explore different relationship structures and co-create a model that works uniquely for you.

    Empowered Choices

    Become more confident making decisions that align with your values and desires.

    Millie and Nick - Polyamory Educators
    Our Story

    BUILT ON LIVED EXPERIENCE

    Decolonizing Love was founded to bring diversity and understanding to the world of polyamory. Our coaching isn't just advice; it's a journey rooted in the lived experiences of two polyamorists who have navigated the worlds of identity, culture, and love across continents.

    Millie brings a lifetime of polyamorous living, informed by her Kenyan tribal culture and her path as a bisexual and non-binary individual. Nick has been challenging norms and embracing polyamory since 2010, contributing a critical perspective on toxic masculinity and the dynamics of love and relationships.

    Together, we have connected with a diverse spectrum of individuals, couples, and polycules from over 12 countries, enriching our understanding and ability to offer relatable, resonant guidance.

    More About Millie & Nick

    What Happens in a Polyamory Peer Session?

    Beyond Coaching

    A HOLISTIC
    SUPPORT SYSTEM

    Our sessions go beyond the traditional coaching framework. While we are not therapists, our goal is to facilitate a deeper understanding of your emotions and experiences, providing tailored resources and support that's trauma-informed, confidential, and safe.

    Exploring Non-Monogamy

    Looking at different relationship structures and building agreements & boundaries that are right for you.

    Negotiating Boundaries

    Understand the importance of boundaries and learn how to set and negotiate them with your partners.

    Building Secure Attachment

    Develop skills to create and maintain secure, fulfilling attachments within a non-monogamous context.

    Power in Relationships

    Understand how systems of oppression influence relationships and learn to navigate them with awareness and resilience.

    Addressing Jealousy & Trauma

    Identify how past traumas affect your relationships and develop strategies to manage feelings of jealousy, turning them into growth.

    Effective Communication

    Enhance your ability to communicate openly and honestly with all partners, addressing needs and resolving conflicts.

    Ready to explore any of these topics?

    Book Your Session
    For Men

    UNLEARNING TOXIC MASCULINITY IN RELATIONSHIPS

    Patriarchy, possessiveness, and dominance are learned behaviors — not fixed traits. Nick works specifically with men who want to show up differently in their relationships.

    These sessions explore how toxic masculinity shapes your attachment patterns, communication habits, and relationship dynamics — and give you practical tools to unlearn them.

    Book a Session with Nick

    Possessiveness & Control

    Recognizing ownership patterns and replacing them with trust and autonomy.

    Emotional Availability

    Breaking through emotional walls without performing vulnerability.

    Jealousy & Ego

    Understanding the difference between genuine needs and ego-driven reactions.

    Accountability Without Shame

    Learning to take responsibility for harm without spiraling into defensiveness or self-flagellation.

    Our Track Record

    470+ CLIENTS. 26+ COUNTRIES. 1 COMMUNITY.

    470+
    Clients Coached
    620+
    Sessions Delivered
    26+
    Countries Reached
    1 in 5
    Return Clients
    Hear From Our Clients

    REAL PEOPLE. REAL CHANGE.

    Our clients come from all walks of life — different backgrounds, different relationship structures, different struggles. What they share is the courage to show up and do the work.

    Hear directly from someone who's been through it — no scripts, no filters, just an honest account of what it's like to work with us.

    4.93/5 from 59 reviews

    "Millie listened well, and interrupted me only and exactly when I needed to be reined in. She hit that balance of being kind and direct. Impressive. Thank you."

    A
    AlannahUnited States · April 2026

    "The session format and expectations were set up front. I felt listened to and understood. I understood in a safe way I might have to sit with some things that may be uncomfortable. Recommended resources were relevant and modern. Questions and observations were fair and pushed toward greater self-understanding."

    J
    Jess M.United States · April 2026

    "I appreciated that my thinking was challenged. The reading material along with the relationship menu was very helpful. Though I think I could have used a bit more instruction on how to use it — I got it figured out after some trial and error. Looking forward to our next session!"

    J
    Justin G.United States · March 2026

    "The session was insightful with an in depth dialogue between the three of us (Nick, Millie & I). They listened, posed constructive questions, and fashioned the discussion specifically to my concerns. In the end, they offered practical advice in helping me navigate some uncharted waters in my polyamorous journey. I am grateful for their support and look forward to future sessions."

    L
    Leigh M.United States · March 2026

    "We really liked the resources and the way that Nick worked to help Silas get to some root issues. It would have been better if the session was a little longer, so more time to explore each person's perspective. But thanks again, you guys were really helpful. And we'll be definitely reaching out again soon."

    J
    Julia G.Canada · February 2026

    "I loved how Millie and Nick approached with care and providing information that can be a lot but they make it easy to digest. They are amazing! Loved all the books they recommended to us so we can continue our personal and relationship growth."

    X
    Ximena D.United States · January 2026

    "This is my second session and I have ended the session feeling heard, seen, and understood. I appreciate the patience and care from Millie and her way of holding space for me. Thank you!"

    A
    Aura K.Japan · December 2025

    "It was great to see how much concrete things can be shared in 30 min. I was afraid it would be a bit cold, such a short time for such an intimate topic, but I loved the presence and attention. It gave me confidence and reaffirmed my own aspiration. Happy advent vibes from Berlin!"

    M
    MioraGermany · December 2025

    "I quickly wished I had gone with the 60 min session! I felt heard and good to know my feelings are not uncommon. We quickly purchased the jealousy workbook and look forward to scheduling another session soon."

    M
    Mark E.United States · December 2025

    "I appreciated that Millie and Nick both offer their authentic perspectives and opinions, in a way that is respectful and compassionate, but also extremely honest. Also, because I want to be able to continue to work with Millie and Nick as mediators if necessary, I appreciate that they remain neutral and impartial."

    K
    Kerry R.United States · December 2025

    "I liked that it was a non-judgmental space and there were additional resources suggested so my partner and I can continue on our non-monogamous journey."

    S
    Sally H.United States · November 2025

    "Loved having my 'expert' poly ways challenged so beautifully so I could see a lot clearer. I got great actionable steps to help me feel more agency and clarity."

    M
    MariaUnited States · October 2025

    "Very insightful, gave me great tools to use in navigating my new relationship and having self-worth."

    C
    Craig T.United States · September 2025

    "Millie and Nick are so knowledgeable and empathetic, I can't wait to go through all the great material they recommended to us."

    P
    PedroUnited States · September 2025

    "It was really affirming, and it wasn't until I was in the session that I realised that is what I was needing. To be affirmed in my next steps into Polyamory. I also came away with some places to look for connecting with other solo poly people. Nick was very generous with his time, and I felt he covered all my questions. I have recommended to friends and would book a session again."

    T
    TorUnited Kingdom · September 2025

    "You were both absolutely amazing, really understanding and with some very useful food for thought and resources recommendations. I will certainly book a peer session again in the future and I would like to thank you so much for your time and efforts."

    J
    Jemima P.United Kingdom · September 2025

    "Everything was great. I felt challenged. Super easy to book and pay. Happy with the experience."

    A
    AugustUnited Kingdom · September 2025

    "I loved the helpful observation that my autistic partner needs time to process when I express my needs and the suggestion that we rely more on calls to bridge the distance gap."

    L
    LizUnited States · September 2025

    "Millie and Nick, you were great to talk with! We appreciated your outline of what we were going to communicate about based on the information we previously provided. We felt that the conversation was very thorough and informative and honest and fun. The resources you provided are great additional tools that we look forward to using. We enjoyed the full experience."

    A
    Andréa V. & Trevor M.United States · July 2025

    "My peer session was very helpful to gain clarity about myself and about my relationship with my partner. I received some tools to use to communicate better about my needs as well as validations for some red flags that I wasn't sure were normal for a poly relationship or not. I feel seen and heard and supported on my journey. Thank you so much."

    B
    Bethany T.United States · July 2025

    "My experience with both Millie and Nick was amazing. They were both so kind, compassionate, understanding and professional. They helped me find a new sense of confidence which I really appreciated."

    J
    JanetUnited States · May 2025

    "Nick and Millie listened to my concerns and offered excellent insight and support. I'd highly recommend them to anyone!"

    J
    JesseCanada · May 2025

    "Appreciate the empathy and understanding, ability to hold space without judgement."

    D
    Dennis F.United States · May 2025

    "Millie was knowledgeable, compassionate, and passionate in her approach to working with me as a client. Her skills and experience helped me work through situations in my life and gave me valuable insight to help me in my future."

    J
    JesseCanada · May 2025

    "Nick was super easy to talk to!"

    R
    Richard L.United States · May 2025

    "I am enjoying my 1:1 meetings with Nick. His insight from his years of experience are tremendously helping me become a better version of myself. I enjoy that he shows up prepared, takes notes and digs deep in our sessions. The questions he asks and the homework he gives are all pieces of the puzzle of life that I need at this time. My partner and I also have a double session with Nick and Millie which was super insightful and left a huge impact on us."

    Y
    Yvette F.United States · April 2025

    "Millie was an empathetic listener, offered tangible suggestions to help me adjust to a major transition in my life, and also directed me to additional resources. It was very helpful."

    S
    ShannonUnited States · 2025

    "Excellent! We will book again."

    P
    PippaCanada · 2025

    "Had a great chat! I'm new to this relationship style and Millie shared valuable perspective and resources."

    W
    WalkerColombia · 2025

    "Loved working with them both in my session. They validated so much and also pushed me to think of what to do next. Will be booking again."

    S
    SebasPeru · 2025

    "Nick and Millie make an amazing peer counseling support team. I've been poly for 4 years and their vast experience and varying styles of analysis helped me recognize some key patterns I need to work on myself. Give them a try for yourself and see, I recommend the 60 min session with them both."

    A
    Aiman AUnited States · 2025

    "They offered some fantastic insight and connected me with resources, and let me know different things to expect. They gave me some great starting points to look into and expand upon. Thanks again!"

    E
    ElmoUnited States · 2025

    "Millie fitted so much into my 30 min session and gave me lots to think about. It was great to hear a different perspective and would definitely recommend if you have anything you're working through and want help, with no judgement."

    C
    CatAustralia · 2025

    "I really enjoyed the session with Nick and Millie. They were super empathetic and supportive and pragmatic. They delivered their opinions and advice in a positive but realistic tone. Overall I found their experience and the session much valuable. Surely we'll resort to their help in the future as things evolve."

    A
    António M.Portugal · 2025

    "I came out to my partner as wanting to be polyamorous and they are struggling. Millie provided supportive and helpful insights that are allowing me to keep my resolve and be kind, calm and patient with my partner. Thank you Millie!"

    C
    ClaireCanada · 2025

    "Had a great intro 30-minute session with Nick. One tip: book an hour as you'll want to keep talking!"

    K
    KellyCanada · 2025

    "What an incredibly valuable experience. They listened attentively and provided thoughtful insights that gave me new perspective to situations. One aspect I appreciated was using personal experiences to paint a picture rather than using theoreticals or analogies. I would definitely schedule another myself."

    D
    DylenUnited States · 2025

    "Millie is understanding, very easy to talk to, nonjudgmental and offers a wealth of suggestions and insights. I left our session feeling hopeful and less alone. Thank you Millie."

    K
    KimberlyUnited States · 2025

    "I felt like it was an incredibly productive session, I was able to address so many things that worried me, and got great advice and plans on things I could do to better my life. Highly recommend it!"

    N
    Nicole R.Puerto Rico · 2025

    "Empathetic and very clear!"

    M
    MiantsoUnited States · 2025

    "Definitely would recommend! Millie had a lot of good tips and questions to help with some poly and relationship troubleshooting. She was very caring but also honest and straightforward, and has a clear wealth of experience in focusing on the core issue."

    A
    AprilUnited States · 2025

    "Had a chat with Millie and it was such a lovely conversation. It really doesn't matter how much experience you have in practicing ethical non-monogamy, even if you're experienced there's a lot to share and learn. Definitely recommend the peer support session."

    N
    NomiUnited States · 2025

    "I booked a 30 minute session and it was so helpful and reaffirming. Millie and Nick were open, insightful and easy to talk to. I absolutely plan to book another session in the future."

    A
    AngelaSUnited States · 2025

    "I had another great chat with Millie and Nick! I always love talking to them. They gave me some more wonderful tips and insights. Thank you!"

    B
    Becca B.United States · 2025

    "Had an amazing and enlightening conversation with Nick. He really listened to my experience and provided me with concrete guidance. Definitely going to return as I continue the poly journey!"

    J
    JakeyUnited States · 2025

    "Millie and Nick were SO helpful to me. They were warm and straightforward. They made sure we got clear on what I needed out of the time and offered concrete resources, sound advice, and much encouragement. I definitely recommend meeting with them."

    J
    JuliaCanada · 2025

    "Nick and Millie are the bee's knees. I was honored with intentional, thoughtful and goal oriented curiosity. They both brought their own individual and collaborative experience with wise insight and practical guidance. Go schedule a session now."

    S
    Samantha L.United States · 2025

    "Was great to talk with Decolonizing Love. They were very helpful and provided some constructive insight while also providing some good resources to move forward in the journey of ENM."

    J
    JillUnited States · 2025

    "Nick and Millie were wicked easy to talk to. Very professional and friendly and provided really great tools and resources. We would definitely recommend either of them if someone was looking for peer support on these topics. 5 stars!"

    B
    BethUnited States · 2025

    "I had a great session with Millie. She was thoughtful and listened and provided great resources and encouragement."

    M
    MariaUnited States · 2025

    "Nick was so kind, thoughtful and helpful. I was having a big wobble and he really helped me see things from a new perspective and I left with loads of tools to help me move forward."

    S
    Sam G.United Kingdom · 2025

    "Millie was very supportive, empathetic and spoke with truth and conviction in a very soft, gentle and empowering way. Although the session was short, Millie used the time well and was engaged in finding ways to support me, providing not only reassurance, but also valuable advice."

    O
    OanaRomania · 2024

    "Very helpful, not judgmental — approached with problem solving and ideas. Took me out of a spiral of doom into a plan of action. Will definitely be back and will encourage my partner to as well."

    L
    LauraUnited States · 2024

    "Back again, this time with Nick, and again it was just such a great session. I feel like I learn so much in so little time. I also really appreciate the way he discusses the way masculinity can play out in our poly dynamics."

    C
    ChrisUnited States · 2024

    "I felt SO SEEN and so held through all of the kinks of executing on my desires. Thank you so much for being so present and real in everything you do."

    A
    AngelaUnited States · 2024

    "Incredible session. I felt heard throughout and was given practical exercises and prompts for what I was curious about. Highly recommend to spend some time if you have any questions or concerns about your relationships."

    C
    ChrisUnited States · 2024

    "Anytime I have booked a session I am always so grateful and touched by their kind, loving and insightful words and advice. Their values on love, care, safety and community speak volumes and it always shows. Thank you."

    M
    MichelleCanada · 2024

    "I felt so cared for, connected and understood when I spoke with Nick and Millie. They have such a beautiful and objective way of viewing the world! I highly recommend booking a session with them!"

    A
    AlishaUnited States · 2023

    "Simply wonderful. They are experts at their craft. They listened without judgement and gave me insight. I will definitely be booking with them again."

    A
    Akosua O.United States · 2023
    FAQ

    FREQUENTLY
    ASKED
    QUESTIONS

    Everything you need to know about peer sessions, mediation, and how we can support your journey.

    Join The Journey

    ARE YOU READY?

    Become the best version of yourself in your polyamorous relationships. Let Millie and Nick guide you every step of the way.

    Book Your Peer Session Now

    Not able to afford a peer session, but really need help? We offer accessible options every month.

    Free Peer Session

    One free session per month, first-come first-served.

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    Sliding Scale Session

    Four sliding scale spots per month, first-come first-served.

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